The first 45 minutes of “Friend Request”

This is a long synopsis of “Friend Request”.

Now, before I begin, I have a 9 month old daughter who doesn’t go to bed until 8.30, as well as a real life job that means I get up at 6am and don’t get in until 6pm, on top of all the other extra curricular activities that I get up to such as having sex, drinking, playing football, having sex and drinking.

So by the time I fire up the Netflix/NowTV/DVD player and settle down to watch a film, I’m already half asleep. So prepare yourself for some half reviews of films!

It was with great trepidation that Jade and I decided to watch “Friend Request”. After my terrible experience with the other “social media based horror”; the 80 minute YouTube buffer “Unfriended”, I wholly anticipated another shower of shit starring whiny, preppy American teens and their perfect lives being disrupted by a strange outsider, who then dies and haunts them through their social media accounts.

And boy oh boy “Friend Request” did not disappoint.

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#unfriended

Do you believe in ghosts and spirits?

Do you like glitchy Skype conversations?

Do you enjoy your YouTube videos taking an absolute age to buffer?

Do you enjoy hearing about bratty, teenage #firstworldproblems ?

Then “Unfriended” is the film for you!

Let’s begin with my original review…

This review first appeared on my Facebook timeline about 2 years ago. It has been extended with extra witticisms, cynicisms and linksysisms. A bit like a director’s cut!

I saw 50 Shades of Grey last night (I know, I know I’m a sellout, I used to be cool blah blah blah) but for those of you that haven’t seen it let me pass on this helpful review type synopsis.

There’s this guy who looks like Emmet, from The Lego Movie, with a six pack. He’s a billionaire but it’s not clear how he amassed this money but judging by his big “Grey Tower” I think it was because he’s a master builder.